That Stupid Wee Lassie From Elderslie

from Doubt by Dumb Instrument

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lyrics

slaving but you are saving for that holiday
that is five thousand seven hundred and sixty one miles away
obsessed since childhood with that mushroom cloud

it’s your very first day in Tokyo
and your’e lost but see this face you know
it’s that stupid wee lassie from Elderslie
and she smiles as she listens
and she leads the way to the train
that goes to Nagasaki

two years later you’re dragged
to a to a discotheque lined in cork
in the meat packing district bit of New York

and there you spot her bouncing up and down

she’s enjoying herself much too much today
it’s that stupid wee lassie from Elderslie
it’s beyond you why they don’t impound her beer
and explain very sternly it’s not done like that here

not done like that here

you were in fourth year and she was in first
she would hang around with the plooks just about to burst

idling in Lidl in Johnstone
and you can’t make your mind up
’tween shortcake and jaffa cakes

it’s been a long time
but you see her making haste
past the crisps and the wine

she’s got a basketful of pasta
and a box of milk tray
it’s that stupid wee lassie fae Elderslie
and as she passes she points out your folly to you by
picking up shortcake, not one but two

not one but two